Crazy vs. Stupid

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH (Institute of mental health).
 
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.
 
When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.
 
One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened. The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.
 
The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple problem.... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."
 
Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that" The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"
 

Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"

When your hut's on fire

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
 
 
The Moral of This Story:
 
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God. 

Story of a Wallet

Once an old man was traveling by train on a pilgrimage to Brindavan. At night, whilst he was asleep, his wallet fell from his pocket. A co-passenger found it the next morning and enquired as to whom the wallet belonged. The old man said it was his. A picture of Sri Krishna inside the wallet was proof that the wallet really belonged to him.

The old man then began to relate the story of the wallet. He soon had a group of eager listeners around him. Lifting up the purse for all to see, the old man said: This purse has a long history behind it. My father gave it to me years ago when I was a mere schoolboy. I kept my little pocket money in it and also a photograph of my parents.

Years passed. I grew up and began studying at university. Like every youth, I became conscious of my appearance. I replaced my parents' photograph with that of my own and I would look at it often. I had become my own admirer.

Then came marriage. Self-admiration gave way to the consciousness of a family. Out went my own picture and I replaced it with that of my wife's. During the day I would open the wallet many times and gaze at the picture. All tiredness vanished and I would resume my work with enthusiasm.

Then came the birth of my first child. What a joy I experienced when I became a father! I would eagerly rush home after work to play with my little baby. Needless to say, my wife's picture had already made way for the child's.

The old man paused. Wiping his tearful eyes, he looked around and said in a sad voice: Friends, my parents passed away long ago. My wife too died five years ago. My son- my only son- is now married. He is too busy with his career and his family. He has no time for me. I now stand on the brink of death. I do not know what awaits me in future. Everything I loved, everything
I considered my own, has left me.

A picture of the Lord now occupies the place in my wallet. I know He will never leave me. I wish now that I had kept HIS picture with me right from the beginning (and HIS thought in my mind)! He alone is true (whom you call Shiva or Krishna or Rama or Christ or Allah…); all others are just passing shadows….

Thesis of a Rabbit

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the weather. The day was so nice that the rabbit became careless, so a fox sneaked up to her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch!", said the fox.

"Wait!", replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my Ph.D. thesis."

"Hah, that's a stupid excuse. What is the title of your thesis anyway?"

"I am writing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

"Are you crazy? I should eat you right now! Everybody knows that a fox will always win over a rabbit."

"Not really, not according to my reserch. If you like, you can come to my hole and read it for yourself. If you are not convinced, you can go ahead and have me for lunch."

"You are really crazy!" But since the fox was curious and nothing to lose, it went with the rabbit into its hole. The fox never came back out.

A few days later, the rabbit was again taking a break from writing and sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to eat her.

"Wait!", yelled the rabbit,"you cannot eat me right now."

"And why might that be, you fuzzy appetizer?"

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves."

The wolf laughed so hard that it almost lost its hold on the rabbit. "Maybe I shouldn't eat you, you really are sick in the head, you might have something contagious," the wolf opined.

"Come read for yourself, you can eat me after that if you disagree with my conclusions." So the wolf went to the rabbit's hole and never came out.

The rabbit finished her thesis and was out celebrating in the lettuce fields. Another rabbit came by and asked, "What's up? You seem to be very happy."

"Yup, I just finished my dissertation."

"Congratulations! What is it about?"

"It is titled 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves"

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."

"Oh yes, you should come over and read it for yourself."

So they went together to the rabbit's hole. As they went in, the friend saw a typical graduate student abode, albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial dissertation was in one corner, on the right there was a pile of fox bones, on the left was a pile of wolf bones, and in the middle was a large, lip-licking lion.

The moral of the story:

The title of your dissertation doesn't matter. All that matters is who your thesis advisor is.

Crime is Crime

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:
"Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together."
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: "I think, I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.

There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

Lizard Love

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tear open the wall.
 
Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls.
 
When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stucked there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet.
 
He sees this, feels pity and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.
 
What happened? The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years!?!! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving,it is impossible and mind boggling.
 
Then he wondered, how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step - since its feet was nailed!
 
So, he stopped his work and observed the lizard,what has it been doing and what has it been eating? Later, don't know from where appears another lizard,with food in its mouth... AHHH!
 
He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stucked by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...
 
Such a love, such a beautiful love!! Such love happened even on this tiny creature. What can love do? It can do wonders!! Love can do miracles!!
 
Imagine it has been doing it for a tired some 10 yrs, without giving up hope on its partner. Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with the brilliant mind can't.

Attitude is Everything

Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya. Tabhi usane dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai. Kutte ki saans sookh gayi. "Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!" usne socha. Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi. Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baithgaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosane laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka maza hi kuchh aur hai. Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!" Aur usne zor se dakaar mara. Is bar sher sakate mein aa gayaa. Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!" Aur sher wahan se champat ho gaya

Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yeh mauka achha hai sher ko sari kahani bata deta hoon – sher se dosti ho jayegi aur usase zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega. Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekh liya aur samajh gaya ki koi locha hai. Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai. Sher zor se dahada, "chal mere sath abhi uski leela kahatam karta hu" aur Bandar ko apani peeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.

Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek bar phir uskii taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bheje ek ghanta ho gaya saala ek sher phaans kar nahi la sakta!"